Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Farewell, 2015

Note: If you haven’t had a chance to read my guest post on Opal’s lovely blog, here’s the link.
 
 
It’s difficult to write a year review post, because honestly, everything’s pretty much a blur for me. People ask me how 2015 has been, and all I can think is, I wrote a lot, I read a lot, I aged, end of story. Yeah, I processed things, and I’d like to believe my mind grew. I’d like to think I improved at the activities I love. Maybe I got worse.

As always, I added more books to my personal library and more experiences to my mental records. I moved to a different state and started a new life. Fortunately, I made a lot of friends in the blogosphere, and my blog grew, but I still get nervous about posting. I’m pretty sure I will always get nervous about posting. And I will always have that tendency to question the quality of my writing.

This year I’ve started to learn more about caring for other people, about opening up, about talking. I've learned that sometimes people actually want to read what I have to say, although that still seems like a crazy notion.

In a strange and wonderful plot twist, I write full time now. No, I am not published yet—I still haven’t seen a penny for any of my words. But my sister is providing for all my needs because she says that’s her investment in my writing career, that I can pay her back when I’m a crazy rich New York Times Bestselling author. Emphasis on the when. She has more true confidence in my abilities than I do.

In other news, New Year’s Day is my birthday. I confess, I always feel weird about having birthdays. Are they optional? It’s not that I dislike the reminder that I am getting older, and it’s not that I’m worried I’m too young. I just don’t like age labels. I’ve never felt like I belonged to my age, and the number tag feels dishonest. Maybe there is a difference between the number of years lived and the actual age of a person. Birthdays jar me because they remind me I am nowhere near as old as I think. They remind me that I haven’t yet lived even a third of the average American life expectancy. Is it possible to grow old twice? I feel old. Not spectacularly mature, just remarkably ancient. I don’t remember what it’s like to feel young.

 
I had goals for this year. Some I met, and others I didn’t. Life’s like that. But this was not a bad year, and I am happy to have lived it, even though it was far too short. Years are short. I enter one, I blink, and it’s gone. Another one comes in its place, only to hurry off into the sunset. Eventually, I’ll wake up bewildered, wondering when I turned eighty and how on earth that number snuck up on me. You wait and see. It just might happen to you as well.

I have goals for 2016. Big goals. Goals that will keep me busier than ever. But busyness is satisfying because I don’t feel the weight of time so much when my mind is active. I want to share more of myself with you, posts like this one and this one and this one. I want to read more and write more and think more. I want to get published (but I bet you already knew that). Most importantly, in whatever small way I can, I want to make 2016 a brighter year for all of you because you made 2015 bright for me.

Happy New Year!


Well, that’s it, little coffee beans. What are your goals for 2016? Feel free to guess how old I’m turning. Also, if you have any suggestions on how you think I could make this blog more interesting in the coming year, please let me know. I love hearing back from all of you.

22 comments:

  1. Aww, your sister is the nicest. :') And pfft OF COURSE you will be an NYT bestseller someday and I will have the claim to fame of saying I read your blog before you were famous. *nods*
    I also get what you mean about age-feeling-weird. I always feel much younger than my age. *sigh* I'M NOT READY TO ADULT YET. Online, most people are surprised that I'm 21 and not 16. (OOPS?!) And IRL people are still surprised that I'm 21 and not 16. -_- Apparently I have a baby face. Fun.
    I hope you have a fabulous New Years Eve!! And a fabulous 2016. With lots of writerly accomplishments and awesome, right?!? :D

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    1. She really is. :) And OH MY GOODNESS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. *gives you cake and coffee* I will totally be able to say the same about you as well.
      Age is weird that way. People IRL generally guess my age way higher than it is, but hey, it's super great to be young at heart. :) Even though, yeah, I'm sure it's probably not all that fun to be treated like you're 16 when you're 21.
      Thank you. :) I did indeed have a fabulous New Year's Eve, and a fabulous New Year's Day. I hope you had a fabulous New Year's Eve/Day, and I hope you 2016 is brilliant and wonderful and filled with writerly awesomeness. XD

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  2. That is so awesome of your sister! And it's awesome that you moved to another state. That had to be huge! And adventurous. ;) I want to do that one day.

    Age-labels are super weird. I look younger than I am, so when I tell people I'm 23 they tend to give me a suspicious eye that says they're not sure if they believe me. Plus, I do not feel 23 at all. Sometimes I feel more mature than some older adults in company while other times I identify more with an 18 year old. . . So yeah. And birthdays are either fun or. . . awkward.

    Happy birthday. ;)

    My goals for 2016 mostly consist of focusing on writing and playing guitar. I want to be better at both. And I hope to transfer colleges in the fall. That's a process. And scary.

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    1. It really is. :) I'm really glad that I moved--it's been such a wonderful and new experience, and I really love it down here. It definitely was adventurous.

      Age labels really are super weird. Exterior age and mental age and emotional age are all different things, really. And just giving one label can be kind of restrictive. Birthdays are good for cake, though, so there's that.

      Thank you! :)

      Good luck on your goals! Especially transferring colleges, because that does sound scary. *shivers* I hope you have an awesome 2016. :D

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  3. Your sister sounds awesome! I feel the same way about birthdays- mines a few days after yours :) I'm excited to read your posts/writing in 2016!

    Happy birthday!!

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    1. She is super awesome! It's funny, because not many people in real life can relate to how I feel about birthdays. Happy Birthday though!
      And thank you! I'm excited to read your 2016 posts/writing as well. :)

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  4. Well, happy birthday anyway! :P If it helps, you're not the only person who gets insecure about posting because that's me. All the time. It's very hard for me to convince myself that my blog doesn't suck and shouldn't be deleted most of the time...oh, the struggle. *sigh* But anyway, I look forward to seeing what you post this year, and I hope 2016 is great for you!

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    1. Thank you! Your blog is super amazing! But yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if most bloggers felt the same way. *nods* I hope you have a wonderful 2016, and I look forward to reading you posts as well. :)

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  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU AMAZING INSANE WRITER PERSON! I saw that it was your birthday on facebook yesterday and I totally WAS going to post on your timeline but that didn't happen so here I am wishing you a belated birthday. :P

    And awww that's so sweet of your sister. xD

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    1. AWWW, THANK YOU, YOU BRILLIIANT WONDERFUL WRITER PERSON!

      Yeah, she's a great sister. :D

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  6. Happy Birthday! Keep trying for the dream. You're an amazing writer (unless you have some minion write your blog for you, in which case you have excellent hiring skills to acquire such good writing talent ;) and I'm sure you'll do great in the coming years!

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    1. Thank you! And oh my goodness, that means so much to me! :D Happy 2016!

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  7. You have the most amazing sister! And her faith in you is well placed. I am certain that you are going to be on that bestseller list in the future. And when that happens I'll be sitting here going 'I knew her before she was famous' and feeling all superior. Also, happy birthday! And Happy New Year. I wish you all the luck for 2016!

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    1. I know, right? Aww, thank you! I really appreciate that. But I'll totally get to say the same thing about you. :) Thank you! Happy New Year and Happy 2016 to you as well! :)

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  8. Happy birthday! I don't know why you would feel nervous about posting, all of your posts are amazing and hilarious and generally awesome. And your sister sounds amazing! Make sure you give her lots of hugs (or hot wings, if she's like my sister and hates hugs :) ).

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    1. Thank you! And aww, you're so sweet! :) You are my new best friend. My sister is amazing--but I will have to give her hot wings (which she loves) instead of hugs, because she really does not like hugs. :) Thanks for commenting! I hope your 2016 is super brilliant and awesome. :D

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  9. Awwwww. *hugs* Happy Birthday! I hope this year is a fantastic one for you. My roommate supports me like that though I will be looking for a part time job so I can do some traveling and attend a writers conference. The wanderlust is strong with this one.

    storitorigrace.blogspot.com

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    1. *hugs you back* Thank you! I hope 2016 is fantastic for you as well! Awww, you have such a great roommate. :D I hope you get the chance to do a bunch of traveling and conference attending. (And of course, I'd love to hear all about your adventures.) :D

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  10. Here's to the next great year, right? Your sister is so kind to invest in you like that. I mean, partially because I'm sure you like living in a place with heat and food and whatever, but also because it means she believes in you. That's really cool. Happy 2016! :)

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    1. Right. *nods* She is very kind--both to make sure I have food to eat and a place to stay and also to make sure that I know she believes in me enough to support me at her own expense. Now I really have extra motivation to succeed, or else. :P Happy 2016 to you too! Thanks for commenting!

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  11. I definitely think I did--for lack of a better term--a lot of self-discovery in 2015: I figured out a lot about the way my mind works and why I think the way I do. Which is pretty cool, I guess. It was definitely helpful in figuring out how best to accept myself and relate to other people. :)

    Also, "all I can think is, I wrote a lot, I read a lot, I aged, end of story. Yeah, I processed things, and I’d like to believe my mind grew. I’d like to think I improved at the activities I love." Yes. This is me.
    Time seems so weird to me. It's like, during the day, it seems to drag. But then I looked back AND WHAT THE HECK A YEAR HAS GONE BY???? I don't know. Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, time is really weird.

    But anyways. Happy (very late) birthday! And best of luck with all your goals. :)


    Alexa
    thessalexa.blogspot.com
    verbositybookreviews.wordpress.com

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    1. Self-discovery is so important, and I'm glad you were able to enter into that. I don't think it's possible to understand other people well until we can understand ourselves. I'm glad you had a good year that way! :D

      You can relate! *happy dance* I sometimes worry about the way I process time, but I guess maybe it's normal? I don't find my days dragging though--I wish they did just a little. Indeed, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. Couldn't have said it better myself. One thousand coffee beans to you. :)

      Thank you, and thank you! *nods like bobble-head* And thanks for commenting! :) I hope you have a wonderful 2016!

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