Scottie’s
is a quaint little bookstore in Ellsworth, Maine that I visit maybe once or
twice a year. Every time I go, the books
are piled higher and the Scotty dog is older—but that papery smell still fills
the air, just like always. I love the
familiar surroundings, the high shelves and the brimming cardboard boxes, the
ratty paperbacks and the priceless hardcovers.
Recently I was wandering through the crowded stacks, thumbing through
old and new volumes alike—worn out Orson Scott Cards and shiny Isaac
Asimovs. Tolkein was in there somewhere,
tucked in facing the tacky looking Star Trek and Star Wars collection that I
always drool over but rarely buy. Still
hoping to dig up a Ray Bradbury, I moved to the classics section deep in the
back corner, a veritable treasure trove if you care to dig. And that’s when I found it. Tarzan
of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs.
My cousin
loves Tarzan—the books, the soundtrack, the movie. Whenever I visit her house, I see her copies
sitting in a neat little row on her shelf, and I am intrigued. I watched the Disney version when I was much
younger, and bits and bobs still float around in my memory, random
snatches of animation that stuck to my grey matter. Not much—just enough to know that I liked it,
but not enough to know why. Truth be
told, when my cousin recommended the books to me, while her enthusiasm piqued
my interest, the obnoxiously melodramatic covers weren’t very promising. This copy, though—this copy was
beautiful. The peaceful blue-green
jungle was a scene from another world; a strange, magical place that I
desperately wanted to visit. And having
forgotten so much of the story, I was curious to remember. So, after all these years, I finally got
around to reading it.
At the
end, as I closed the book and studied the write-up to see if it gave an
accurate representation, I wondered why I hadn’t remembered that Tarzan was a tragedy.
As a kid,
when I read, I read because I loved to explore, because a mere staycation
didn’t cut it for me, because everyday life can be boring for a mind that’s
always learning and growing and developing.
I didn’t much care what happened, so long as it was interesting. Nothing wrong with that, of course. But now…
Now I read to escape, to stretch, to make sense of the world. I live in a box—a gilded cage—and I need air
sometimes. I need to live somewhere else
and be someone else when this frame becomes too unbearable.
And
Tarzan—Tarzan is beautiful. He is free,
swinging through the treetops with the fresh air and the sunlight surrounding
him. He is basic humanity, without the
trappings of taxes and rent and work. He
is an untamed spirit, and I rooted for him because he is the wild, adventurous
creature that I wish I was.
Then Jane
Porter comes along and ruins everything.
At first I liked her because Tarzan liked her. But Tarzan doesn’t get the girl in the
end. He doesn’t get anything. Instead, he abandons his old life and trades
it for tiresome civilization in hopes of marrying Jane. And I hated—how I hated to see him trapped in
a suit, speaking French and eating with silverware like a normal man when he’s
anything but a normal man. He’s
Tarzan. He is special. He is so much better—so much more—than any
other man, and he deserves more than this boring fate. How awful that he trades all that makes him
marvelous for a wishy-washy girl who leads him on and then foolishly rejects
him. Where is the justice in that? It’s as tragic as Peter Pan growing up, or
Cinderella and Prince Charming getting a divorce, or Spirit becoming a tame
packhorse. It simply won’t do. But here’s the thing—and this is why it hurt
the most, this is what I didn’t get before that I do now. Eventually, we do have to face reality. We
all have to face reality, even when we don’t like it. Edgar Rice Burroughs told the truth. Love doesn’t always fix things, time doesn’t
always heal, and everyone gets old and tired someday. As much as I wanted to see Tarzan free, as
much as I wanted him to remain forever untainted by what taints me, his
sacrifice made him twice as beautiful. Like
Pinocchio, his experiences turned him into a real boy, and that was priceless.
So I look
forward to the twenty-two sequels and all they hold in store.
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