Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Welcome to the Blogosphere

Note: The winner of Out of Coffee, Out of Mind’s First Blogversary Giveaway is Tessa Ann from Books, Bubbles, & Arohanui! Congratulations, Tessa!




When I first started blogging, I had no clue what I was getting into. I mean, yes, I was aware that I would hold myself to a strict schedule (at that point, a post every Wednesday), so I knew I would have to come up with something to write each week. How hard could that be?

Apparently more difficult than my cavalier brain made it sound.

Now, I realize some of you don’t struggle with blogging ideas, and I’m very happy for you. That’s actually not so much the issue with me. At the moment, I have over ten potential posts lined up—some even partially drafted. But, from the first, I underestimated the fact that I wouldn’t always feel confident about my ideas, that I wouldn’t always find them interesting a few days after their inception.

I was an ignorant little coffee bean about a lot of things, so I figured I’d enlighten you a little, in case you’re new to blogging, or in case you’re just curious.

During the early weeks of blogging, I got a handful of page views for every post, and I struggled not to get too discouraged. Instead of letting myself mope, I did my best to shake it off and look on the bright side. I decided to just go for it, to act as though I was speaking to a larger audience than my lone follower and the one or two weary travelers who found themselves stumbling through the caffeine haze of my brain. After a while, I found myself getting into the rhythm of things. Sometimes I forgot that I even had any readers, and I enjoyed the feeling of talking to myself in my own little corner of the internet. (That might have sounded a tad arrogant, or insane. *hides*)

Then I got my first comment, during November, and I suddenly remembered the existence of my readers. Right around that time, my page view count spiked, and that threw me for a loop. Suddenly I found myself balking at the idea of blogging at all. Somehow, I had been fine with the false sense of security that came with writing only for myself without the promise of a caring (or uncaring) audience. I realized I wasn’t so sure I liked the idea of people reading my work, and possibly, actually…liking it? Translation: I got stage fright.

For a few months after that, as I started getting a few comments here and there, and more and more page views, I found myself mesmerized by the little graph depicting the dips and rises of traffic on my blog, kicking myself when the numbers fell, cursing myself when they rose. Because, if there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I’m a very confusing person—but I’m also human (bet you didn’t see that coming), so I know this problem isn’t unique to me.

During this time, I consoled myself with the notion that, after the initial rush had faded, I would stop being such a wonky shot of espresso. And there’s a point to which that happened. Sometimes I go through whole weeks where I don’t even track my page views (although I do keep an eye on my audience, because it’s always exciting to get a new country—so far I’ve had hits from every continent except Antarctica. *waits impatiently for the Antarcticans to discover me*). But there are still periods when I care far too much, when I unconsciously (or consciously) gauge my worth by the rise and fall of my page view count.

Unfortunately, that close attention to my readership is what exhausts me the most and drains me of my ability to write anything even vaguely interesting. It’s brought me to that point of fatigue, on several occasions, when I’m not sure if I can post at all.

Looking back, I wish my self of August, 2014 had known what to expect. I wish I could tell younger me that it’s hard, but I shouldn’t let myself get hitched up in all the details, because the reward is well worth the effort—in fact, the reward IS the effort, rather than the outcome.

The reason I’m bringing all this up is that I’m going through one of the rougher times. There are many reasons why I’ve been struggling. For a while, it looked like my mother might have had cancer, and I spent two weeks living away from home while she recovered from surgery. During that time, I had a great deal of trouble focusing, because there were so many distractions. When I got home, I immediately started a new job, which cuts into my day, and I have other obligations that tend to take priority over reading and writing and other things I love—things that help me maintain my sanity.

That’s not to say I don’t love blogging. Lately I’ve found that love and discomfort aren’t mutually exclusive. But neither are they hugely harmonious.

Last Wednesday’s post, “I am Seven” did very well. Within a matter of twenty-four hours, it far surpassed my previous most popular post. I’ve received some very encouraging feedback, and I appreciate that so much. But writing that post was extremely difficult, and it burned me out a little. Unfortunately, though, there’s that part of me that wants to keep seeking out success, to tap into that something that made “I am Seven” resonate with people and made them want to share it with others. I know if I do that, without giving myself the necessary break from all things Africa, I’ll turn blogging into a chore, rather than a joy. (That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate it when you tell me you want to read more about Côte d’Ivoire, since I really am happy to oblige—I just need time.)

Even as I write this, I’m nervous, because I feel like I’ve set a precedent, reached a high score that I won’t be able to manage again for a long time. That everything’s going to be downhill from here. You’d think I’d only be happy at how successful “I am Seven” was, and I am. But I dread the mundane, the posts that don’t resonate as widely, the ones that get forgotten. All my other ideas pale in comparison, and I don’t want to get sucked into the trap of writing for page views, like a dog doing tricks for treats.

All that to say, in my experience, blogging doesn’t necessarily get easier as you garner a larger audience, because, if you’re like me, you’ll frequently catch yourself wanting more. So find your purpose, the reason why you blog, and cling to that, because comment counts and page views will always let you down. And write every post with the love it deserves. In the end, popularity is less important than art.

 

Note: A few weeks back, Heather @ Sometimes I’m a Story shared a lovely post, “How to Survive a Viscous Comment Count”, which taps into a similar vein and is well worth the read.

18 comments:

  1. Dude! I'm sorry about your mom, and no wonder you need a break! I mean, yes, getting a blogging "high score" can be really daunting to follow up with and having your life take over like that can be terrifying. Yes, yes, yes. And if you need to take a break because things at home are getting to you, or even if you feel burnout over your Africa post, you are not your blog so you should do what you need to do.

    And as someone who also had a "high score" problem, it was really great in March when I reached my page's all time page count and new post high score. And for a while after that things continued to go up. But at this minute on my blog? Six of my most popular posts were written between February and May, and none since the beginning of August. At first, when my monthly page views started to go down in March I was sorely disappointed—I thought I was good enough to keep going up. But what I've realized as I'm at another low point in my stats is that it is far more satisfying to have regular, "average" posts where you can have discussions with a strong, defined group of people than it is to write spectacular posts that get a bajillion comments, but only once. *nods* So, like you, I have concluded that popularity is less important than art, which is good, otherwise I would be super depressed about my stats. XD :D

    And thanks for sharing my post! I appreciate it! :)

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    1. I've thought about taking a break, but I haven't come quite to that point yet, although I'm moving soon and I'll be busy, so we'll see. I really do enjoy blogging, and I find it therapeutic enough, for the most part, that I'd rather avoid taking a break. But I also know I tend to push myself too hard sometimes, so I want to make sure that I'm balancing this with everything else going on in my life.

      Aww, that's disappointing to go up only to go down. And I've been doing really well lately, so I have a feeling that's going to change in a month or two. It's weird how page views seem to clump together at times and spread out at others. But yes, nice discussions and a steady (even if its small) group of followers are wonderful to have, even better than random popularity that leaves as quickly as it comes. If I were focused only on page views, I think I would have gone insane at this point, but I do have to remind myself quite often that it's not about the page views and the comments.

      You're welcome! It's a really great, encouraging post, and more people need to read it! :)

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  2. That's awful, I'm sorry about your mom. It's good that you're enjoying blogging, but if you need a break then we'll be here when you come back :) It's great that your Africa post did so well, but I agree and you probably shouldn't keep writing it just for page views because art is way cooler than page views/comments, especially if you get burned out from it.

    I totally get watching the page views. I did that in the beginning when I first started out, but lately I've been so busy with exams that I haven't had time to obsess over the fact that I had ten page views today and fifteen yesterday. I'm enjoying blogging way more, I found. Obsessing over stuff isn't good.

    Thanks for sharing :)

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    1. It's okay--I forgive you. *dies laughing at lame joke* And thanks. :) At this point, I don't want to take a break if I don't have to, but I do want to be willing to give myself a break if I need one. I tend to push myself too hard, so it's doubtful I'd actually take a break anyway, but we'll see. Mostly I'm just avoiding getting burned out. Writing movie/TV/book reviews helps to remedy some of that, so we'll see.

      Yeah, I totally understand the busyness thing. The more work I have to do, the more I have something to occupy my mind, the less time I have to obsess over things I can't control anyway. And I'm glad you're enjoying blogging way more. You seem to be doing a lot better than I did when I was starting out. :)

      You're welcome! And thanks for commenting. :)

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  3. Oh that's terrible about your mother. I hope she's doing okay?

    And I totally get what you mean with SO MUCH of this post. I've been mulling over writing about blogger-stage-fright right now actually because...I get it A LOT. And it probably doesn't seem like it, but omg, I second-guess my posts all. the time. And once I got this explosion post and got 7,000 pageviews in a day (which is like 7 times what I usually get) and I just felt so much pressure after that. o.O It's lead to a bit of a shaky last few months myself. I WANNA WRITE FUN STUFF. But yeah. Stage right.

    I don't think blogging gets easier as you grow either...*nods* I think the struggles change, mostly, so what was "easy" is totally cool, but then you get NEW hard things to overcome. But the art is important. VERY important. Because if you blog solely for your audience and not for you, it's easy to burn out.

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    1. She is. Basically, she had a tumor the size of a large cantaloupe (sorry for the grossness), and the little bit of cancer there was got fully enveloped by the rest of the tumor. So, like a really disgusting pearl, if you know what I mean. But she's doing well--just taking it easy until the incision site has completely healed.

      Don't worry, your stage fright doesn't show. :) But I wonder if stage fright is a common thing for bloggers. I second guess my posts so often--I second guessed my most popular post soooo many times. And I totally understand the havock an explosion can wreak on your little blogger mind. My monthly page view count more than doubled in the past couple months, and it's really throwing me off. I love it, but I hate it.

      Definitely some those initial hard things will get easier, but there's always going to be some sort of roadblock along the way. I can't imagine it will ever get super easy--but I think the hard things help to refine your blogging art, if you let them. And yeah, if I wrote just for my audience, I would be one frazzled person. Not happening. :P

      Thanks for commenting! :)

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  4. What a great reminder Liz. I think all of us writers feel this at one point or another. Don't lose hope! Remember the why of what you do. Have others keep you accountable. And whatever you do, don't stop.

    Ciera @ The Write Things

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    1. Thank you! :) I agree, it's definately a common writer struggle, and while I don't wish it on anyone, it is nice to know I'm not the only one who has to face this sort of thing from time to time. Getting to the core of why I enjoy writing, and having others keep me accountable are definately great aids. And it's important to just keep going because eventually I'll find I've left the rut and moved on to better writing pasture, probably without even noticing the transition.

      Thanks for commenting!

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  5. I totally know what you mean about taking ages to reach out to the blogosphere -- it was one entire YEAR for me. Seriously, what was past-me thinking? And it's always a blow when a post doesn't do as well as you expected, especially for stat-obsessed me, but there are always going to be dips in comments and followers and whatnot. So long as we keep going, our blogs will grow in the end.

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    1. I'm ashamed to admit it was pretty close to a year for me, too. Like you, I'm not sure why it took me so long. I mean, I was busy, and I didn't have much time to devote to this sort of thing. But prioritizing is important, and it doens't take ages to comment on a blog post or two.

      Ack, yes, it's so depressing--especially when you like, are really proud of a post, and then way fewer people read it. Definately it's important to keep plugging along, and despite the downward pendulum swings, there will always be the highs, and you're right, there's generally going to be that upward progression.

      Thanks for commenting!

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  6. GAH BLOGGING IS SO HARD.
    *ahem*
    Yeah. It's stressful, too, especially as more people have followed my blog. I want to meet up to people's expectations and give them posts that they will enjoy. What if this post I am thinking of doesn't meet up to their standards? If it doesn't get as many comments, I start doubting, and so on and so forth.

    *sigh* It's hard, and you're not the only one feeling that way. I feel like all of us bloggers are secretly slightly scared about blogging. And I never have ideas. o.o I get scared that someday I'm going to run out of ideas and then never post again. xD

    Katie Grace | A Writer's Faith

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    1. IT IS, ISN'T IT?
      *flops*
      I totally understand--the bigger the audience, the more pressure there is to meet expectations. And it's harder when you don't even know what those expectations are, necessarily. But yeah, when the comment count drops, it's one of the worst feelings ever. Like, I just want to run around screaming WHAT AM I DOING WRONG, SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME. *composes self*

      I think, if someone weren't at least a little nervous about blogging, I would have a problem with them. Haha, I joke, but I'm glad, at least, that I'm not alone. And I may have lots of ideas all in one go, but other times I'm like, WHAT DO I WRITE, SOMEONE HELP ME. So I totally get how you feel. :P

      Thanks for commenting. :)

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  7. I hear you, Liz. I think the key is to remember that you're blogging for yourself; you're blogging because you love books and writing and you want to share your passions with people. You're not blogging for anyone else. Do what makes you happy, write whatever you want. I know that I, and so many other people, will stick by you no matter what you decide to post. Thanks for sharing and, as always, fabulous review! ♥

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    1. Good point. I definitely think I enjoy blogging so much more when I write what I want to write. (And thank you for your dedication. :P) I guess I worry sometimes that my tastes are rather obscure, and that no one will want to read what I want to write. But I guess I have to reconcile that, because I don't want to turn into a little lapdog begging for treats. (Because seriously, who would want to be a lapdog?)

      You're welcome, and thanks for commenting! <3

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  8. Wow, I totally relate to this! Comment counts and pageviews, they bounce up and down, and if we're putting all of our blog's worth in those, our happiness is going to fluctuate all over the place too, and that's not good for anyone. :p

    Also, you totally have reason to be burned out! Hope your mom's feeling better, and praying for you! <3


    Alexa
    thessalexa.blgospot.com
    verbositybookreviews.wordpress.com

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    1. Yeah, happiness can so easily pattern itself after the page view and comment counter. So there has to be some other core, some anchor that reminds us why we blog in the first place.

      I appreciate that, and I've actually been doing better since I wrote this post. I think it helped to talk about my stress.

      Thanks for commenting! :)

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  9. Thanks for the awesome post! I just started blogging a while back and it's really encouraging to me. There's some part of my mind that kept saying that I was doing something wrong and then I just got to where I'd start obsessing over every little fluctuation in page views instead of enjoying writing.

    I just discovered your blog and it looks great! I love the coffee theme!

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    1. You're welcome, and thank you! :) I totally know how you feel, because I was like that starting out. I was like, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY STATS, AM I DOING IT WRONG? half the time.

      Thank you! And I'm glad you love the coffee theme. :) Thanks for commenting!

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