Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

*awkward laugh* 

Please accept this delicious-looking food as a peace offering. 

Source

Normally, when I share random facts about myself, it’s within the context of a tag. But today I felt like talking about myself for no good reason. What could possibly go wrong? 

Fact One

Cutting onions doesn't make me cry. But it really hurts my eyes, so I have to wash them out under the faucet. This can be frustrating, because the onion juice stays in the air for a good while, and I usually end up needing to wash out my eyes multiple times. 

Fact Two

When I’m in my early thirties, I want to move to England and get British citizenship, if I can. I’m somewhat surprised I’ve never mentioned my love of all things British on this here blog before, but now you know. Admittedly, I’ve never visited England, which is probably why I’ve held back from discussing my plans. I could visit for a couple weeks and realize I've been idealizing it, which is why I fully intend to do my research before I make any life-changing decisions. But it’s been my long-term goal for years and I want to make it happen, if at all possible. 

Fact Three

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I want to keep several pets when I have my own place. I want a cat, a rabbit, a hedgehog, three rats, and two mice. I also want a shark. (I know, I know—I already hear your objections. Hedgehogs are very dangerous and spiky. I understand, but I will make sure to take proper safety precautions to prevent injury.)

Fact Four

I am chronically tired. (I already know it’s not Lyme disease or thyroid problems, because I was tested for those a few years ago, though for different reasons.) Iron supplements help a bit, and my tiredness does vary in severity. Usually it’s bearable, and usually exercise helps, but sometimes it gets so bad I half worry that, if I close my eyes while walking, I’ll fall asleep mid-step. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, whether six hours or eleven. Most days, I’m ready to call it a night before I’ve even had lunch (but I have responsibilities, so I don’t actually go to bed that early). 

Fact Five

Related to my fatigue, coffee has little to no effect on my wakefulness. It will make me jittery, and it will make my brain work harder, but it won’t make me feel less tired. This might be connected to my inability to get addicted to caffeine. However, if I pretend the coffee will work, sometimes I think I manage to benefit from the placebo effect. 

Fact Six

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I like driving in heavy rain or snow. I don’t necessarily feel safer, but the challenge makes my mind snap into focus, and I end up feeling more awake than I normally do. 

Fact Seven

I win a lot of giveaways. This year alone I’ve won eight (nine books in all). When you consider how many other people have entered those various giveaways, this is statistically impressive (at least, I think it is). It has escalated now. On Monday I got a random, brand new, expensive vacuum cleaner in the mail (with no return address, so I don't know who sent it). It was addressed to “Liz Brooks” which is already weird because, of the few people and places that have my new address, most have it under “Elizabeth Brooks”. It is possible someone bought this for me, though no one has stepped forward, and I rather doubt someone would buy me an expensive piece of machinery without first making sure I needed it (and again, there’s the address issue). It is also possible I won this in a giveaway, but I have a good memory, and I have no recollection of entering a giveaway featuring a vacuum cleaner. Either way, I seem to have good luck, in this and in other aspects of life, and I am curious to see what else will happen. *sits and waits patiently for a Lamborghini to come in the mail* Just kidding, that’s greedy. *hides pile of lottery tickets* 

Fact Eight

Last month, I was sitting outside with the landlord's cat on my lap, drinking tea and keeping really still because the cat kept trying to bite my earbud cords. I don't know why exactly (perhaps it smelled my floral tea), but a little bird flew up to check me out, and the cat caught it without even getting off my lap. Because cats are evil and like to watch their prey suffer, I had to finish off the bird, clean up the blood, and dispose of the body myself. This is Exhibit A in the long list of reasons why I could never be a Disney princess. 

Fact Nine

For the past few months, I have been struggling with fear-induced procrastination and have ended up writing and editing the majority of my blog posts the day I’m supposed to publish them. At long last, though, I managed to write this post a couple days ahead. Go me. 

What about you, my little coffee beans? What are some fun facts about you? Do you win a lot of giveaways? What pets do you own/want to own? Do onions make you cry?