No books were harmed in the making of this picture.
The esteemed TT @ introtoblurb tagged me for The Book Sacrifice Tag earlier this month. As luck would have it, I’ve been eyeing this tag for a while, so now I have a proper excuse to do it. Thank you, TT!
Before we get started, please remember that if you people like any of the books I mention here, that’s wonderful. More power to you. They just weren’t for me. (And if you're interested in more of my negative bookish opinions, you should check out this post.)
An Over-Hyped Book
Situation: You are in a bookstore when zombies attack. Over the loudspeaker, you hear the military informing you that over-hyped books are the zombies' only weakness. What over-hyped book will you chuck at the zombies? (And remember, no body shots. Head shots only. Come on, you’ve seen The Walking Dead—you know how this works.)
I would rush right over to the Veronica Rossi section, grab INTO THE STILL BLUE along with the first two books in the UNDER THE NEVER SKY trilogy, and start winging copies right at those bad boys.
A large part of me wanted to love these books, because I really was interested in the premise and the story world. Unfortunately, the execution failed to capture me and I couldn’t connect with any of the characters.
However, I think this tactic could be problematic, as the books in the UNDER THE NEVER SKY trilogy aren’t thick, and they’re mostly sold in paperback now. Maybe I should go for the dictionary—millions of people own at least one copy (so, you know, lot’s of hype), but I don’t sit around reading the dictionary in my spare time (although I used to). Plus dictionaries have more heft, so they would do a better job at knocking off zombie heads.
Sorry, I got excited. Moving on.
Situation: You are caught in a torrential downpour, and you’re probably the type who melts when you get wet. What sequel are you willing to use as an umbrella to protect yourself?
*climbs on stage **taps mic* *clears throat* Attention everyone. Today we’re going to talk about how disappointed I was with THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN, the third book in the LAST SURVIVORS quartet. By extension, I wasn’t a huge fan of the fourth book, THE SHADE OF THE MOON, mainly because of a certain elucidation by a certain character about a certain thing he did in THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN. So, while I would mourn the pretty covers, as well as ruining my complete set, I would use them both simultaneously to provide maximum protection from the rain.
Situation: You’re in English class and your professor won’t stop going on about a classic that "revolutionized literature". Personally, you think that classic is garbage, and you decide to express your opposing opinion by hurling it at his head. What classic is that?
I don’t feel particularly malicious toward THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE-DAME, but it also made me want to go to sleep. The plot felt poorly constructed, and the ending lacked the emotional punch it needed. It was frustrating when Victor Hugo got distracted by bunny trails, like the time he left off at somewhat of a stressful moment to talk for fifty or so pages about the old architecture in Paris. *sad face* If I’m going to learn about architecture, I want something with pictures so I know what we’re talking about. I also want all architectural discussions to refrain from interfering just when I’m getting interested in a work of fiction. Is that too much to ask?
(Before you break out the tar and feathers, yes, I understand Victor Hugo wrote this book to draw attention to the architecture that was being lost. But I have fallen in love with story worlds before, and I needed far less nitty gritty description to do so. Furthermore, it is my understanding that Hugo didn’t edit this novel, which is probably why it reads like a rough draft. I don’t like reading my rough drafts. Why would I want to read someone else’s unless I'm planning to offer feedback?)
All that being said, the story had potential, but I wasn't a fan of what he did with it. (I did, however, like the Disney version, as far as I can remember.)
A Least Favorite Book
Situation: You’re hanging out at a bookstore (where else would you be?) when global warming somehow manages to turn the world into a frozen wasteland. Naturally, your only hope of survival is to burn a book. Which book would you not regret tossing onto the fire?
As much as I don’t like being a negative reader, there are multiple titles I could list here. Multiple, I tell you. But for the sake of brevity, we’re just going to go with THE GAP OF TIME, which I reviewed a little while back. I actually got angry while reading it, and books don’t usually inspire feelings of anger in me, even if I dislike them. However, before I toss THE GAP OF TIME into the flames, I would rip out the first chapter and keep it, because I did like that part.
Well, that was fun. Now for the
victims tributes nominees. I hereby tag:
If I tagged you but if you don’t want to do this, you’re off the hook. Likewise, if I haven’t tagged you but you really want to do it, go for it (and remember to drop a link in the comments so I can read your post).
What about you, my little coffee beans? What are some books you would be willing to sacrifice to various natural disasters/apocalyptic situations? Have you ever sacrificed a book to the elements before?